Sex/Love/Relationship Queries

Disclaimer: -

We at okiedoks, do not give any medical prescription and request you consult a Doctor in such cases.  In the capacity of any professional medical counseling, our columns SHOULD NOT be considered as an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments. All serious queries should be handled by professional doctors, gynecologists and experts. We hold no responsibility if any complications which might happen through our advice column.

 

Love queries 

Question 1

Hi!! My fiancé sweats a lot and suffers from very bad body odour in the evenings. He is a wonderful person and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I am seriously thinking whether or not should I marry him or not.

How do tell him about this? Name withheld on request.

Dear Anonymous,

Sweat glands work over time for some people, and combined with bad hygiene increases the risk. If you are in love, talk to you patiently.

Body odour is not that big a reason to leave someone. He can change his body soap, deo and hygience and things would definitely work out. Please talk with him before you marry or else your relationship will suffer later on.  Best of luck.

Question 2:-

I am a 19 year old girl and I like men who are atleast 10-12 years older than me. Boys my age don’t attract me. What should I do? PS.

 Dear PS, you have a peculiar problem which many women don’t open out.

Believe me, its different when you like someone and stay in a relationship with some. I believe a gap of around 5 years is fine for mutual understanding as well as mutual respect. If you find some good who is 7-8 years older than you and you are sure that you will be happy with him, - Go for it.

 

Question 3:-

I love this guy who is a year younger than me. I don’t know if he likes me or not. How would I know if he likes me or not?  Priya T, Mumbai

Dear Priya, love has many shadows and its easy to catch one of those shadows instead of the real person.

Check out this article to know the signs if he is interested in you or not.

http://www.okiedoks.com/how-to-how-to-know-if-a-person-is-interested-in-you-194.aspx

Even if he doesn’t give you the signs, if you like him, you should go out and be friends with him. Best of LUCK.

 

Sex queries

Question 1:-

Hello Sweetyji, I am a 23 year old guy who is interested in body building.

I wanted to know how many times I should masturbate? AA, Mumbai

Dear AA, I have mentioned this a million times that masturbation has no bad effects if done when we are excited without making it as a habbit.

Also, masturbation has no effect on your body building activity.

 

Question 2:-

Why do women like the ‘woman on top’ position. Is it because they get a dominative feeling? Harsh, Delhi

Dear Harsh, don’t go by what magazines say. Every woman has her own perspective. Most magazines bring out results as per case studies which are inflated to make it look more exciting and interesting.  Only a woman can tell as to which position she likes or not.

Question 3:-

Dear Sweetyji, I have heard that there are more than 50 asanas in kamasutra to have sex, then why are the basic 4 more popular. How should I talk with my wife to try out different positions? Name withheld

Dear Anonymous , the basic 4 positions viz the missionary position (when a man is on top facing his partner), doggy ( man inserting into a woman’s vagina from behind), Lap ( when a woman sits on her partner’s thighs either facing him or when her back his facing the man), Side ( when both of them are sleeping sideways not facing each other) are more popular because of the convenience of the positions. Its not mandatory to try all 82 positions mentioned in kamasutra, still if you want to try it, make sure your partner has proper understanding and she is comfortable with it. Start with simpler positions first.

 

 

You can send your queries related to love or sex or relationships to sweetyji@okiedoks.com

Love queries 

Question 1

 I am a 26-year-old married man. I love my wife but when I see all those attractive actresses and the beautiful women I meet in parties, I feel that I made a mistake by marrying early. I feel there is no love left in my life. Please help. SK, Pune 

Dear SK, it is but obvious to be attracted to other women. Even if you marry an actress, won’t you be attracted to other women after some time. In addition, most of the actresses and women you meet at parties have a huge peel of make up.Love is very different from mere attraction.  You need to talk with your wife, spend some more time. Also, go for a small romantic vacation. Don’t think much, go for a movie and spend more time with your wife. 

Question 2 I am 23 and want to know the best way to start a conversation. I like a girl in my college but unable to talk to her since 12 years. Pravin, Pune 

Dear Pravin, 12 years is a big time and if you are still attracted to her, one thing is sure; you really are crazy for that girl. Please get started by starting a decent conversation. Don’t stare at her much. If she studies with you, it’s easier as you need to get introduced in a proper way and have patience. Start by being friends with her and things will fall into place.Good luck 

Question 3:-

 Hello, I have a strange problem. I like one of my relatives. She is my maternal cousin. We both love each other and want to marry. How can we convince our parents, as they won’t agree. ABC, Mumbai 

Dear ABC, you gave the answer yourself. It’s advisable not to mingle physically with your cousin, as it would get more and more difficult to stay apart later. Be practical, as it would create problems later. Let her know everything and I would suggest you should split after talking about the issue. Good luck.  

Sex queries:- 

Question 1

 Sweety Ma`am, I am a 19 year old guy. I have a girlfriend who doesn’t even allow me to kiss her and all my attempts have failed. However, one of my friends knows this and is ready to help to satisfy me. The other girl is average looking but nice at heart. I am sure, I my girlfriend won’t catch me, but I feel that the other girl might end up having feelings for me. What to do?  Name withheld 

Dear XYZ, this is a major problem that happens to many couples. You need to talk to your girlfriend but I would request you to stay away from sex until marriage at least. There are a lot of complications which arise to due sex, apart from the health risks. In addition, it’s just not advisable to sleep with your friend when you are engaged to some other girl. Be brave, make up your mind and talk to your girl about the issues. Good luck

Question 2

 I am a 19-year-old guy. My problem is that I am still virgin and desperate to get out of it. All my friends brag about their sexual adventures and I feel so jealous that I am ready to pay for sex. I am frustrated and want to know what to do?  Deepak, Pune 

Dear Deepak, it’s very natural to get attracted to the opposite sex, but it better to think of the consequences first. Most guy your age just brag about their sexual adventures so you cannot give that as a reason to have sex. It’s not advisable to pay for sex as it has emotional and sexual hazards. Be practical, fall in love and leave the sex part until marriage. Don’t think much as more than 75 % of the male population has the same problem. Good luck  

Question 3

 Which is the best condom available? Are the condoms distributed by the government safe or should we go for international brands like Durex? MK, Pune 

Dear MK, all latex based condoms, which have substantial lubrication, are fine. Even the government-distributed condoms are latex based and safe. Durex is the most famous brand and usage depends upon a person’s choice. Still, check the expiry date before usage.   

For all your queries related to love, relationships and sexual problems, email me at sweetyji@okiedoks.com

Let’s start the questions!!

 

Question 1 

 

My dear Sweety, My length of penis is only 4 inches when erect. Is this normal? I have seen my friends have 8 inch penis. How can I make it big? MS,

India 

 

 Dear MS, The outer area, which comprises of 2 inches, is the only sensitive part in the vaginal area, apart from the G spot, so even a 2-inch penis is sufficient to satisfy a woman sexually. It’s perfectly normal to have a 4 inch penis as long as you know the art of making it use for the purpose it was created. In addition, how do you know that your friend has a 8 inch penis. Kindly don’t inspect other’s penis and your friend might be bragging as well. Sex is not about shapes and size. Don’t worry and concentrate on the act instead.  

 

Question 2 

 

 Dear Sweetyji, My boyfriend complains that my vagina stinks a lot and this a causing a rift in our relationship, Name withheld. 

 

Answer:-  There will be a mild odour coming from the vagina, but if it increased or stinks, kindly consult a doctor to check for infection, which is quite normal.Also after urinating, make sure you wipe your vaginal area with a tissue paper. Hygiene is the key for a satisfactory sex life.  

 

Question 3 

 

What is Cunnilingus and Fellatio? DP,

Nagpur   

 

Dear DP, Oral sex refers to sexual activities involving the stimulation of the genitalia by the use of the mouth, tongue, teeth or throat. Cunnilingus refers to oral sex performed on females mostly when a man kisses or sucks a woman’s vaginal area, while fellatio and irrumatio refer to oral sex performed on males when women kiss, lick or suck a man’s penis. Analingus refers to oral stimulation of a person’s anus.  

 

 

Love problems:- 

 

Question 1:-

 

 Sweetyji, I am in love with a girl who I suspect of having sex earlier. How do I know if she is a virgin or not? Pankaj,

Raipur

 

 Dear Pankaj, Virginity is not a big deal, but hiding it from your partner is not accepted. There is no way until and unless the person involves accepts it.Hymen can get split in many ways, so checking the hymen is not a good idea. If you love someone, don’t drag his or her past life in it. Love is a special feeling and virginity is not a valid criterion for ascertaining fidelity.   

 

Question 2 

 

Hello Sweetyji, I have a very strange problem. I get attracted to other women even when I am in a relationship. It’s not a sexual attraction, but I sincerely feel that I should marry more than one woman. Aman, Pune  .

 

Dear Aman,    Please stop fantasizing as we all have so many fantasies for which we can give a million reasons. Love is very special and the feeling that it can be shared confirms that either you are too immature (teenager) or you don’t know what love is all about. Please concentrate on your relationship instead. 

 

Question 3

 

 Hi Sweetyji, I was madly in love with a girl when I was in college. I am 27 now, but I can’t live without her now. I don’t even know her whereabouts now and I have tried all possible ways to find her but in vain. Varun,

Mumbai, India

 

 Dear Varun,   I can understand your situation, but believe me when I say, ‘Life moves on.’I now how important the girl is to you, but you cannot drag your past to ruin your future. She might have married by now, so look for love else where.Try any social networking sites like facebook to check her whereabouts.Good luck and enjoy what life has to offer. Be a sport. 

  For all your queries related to love and sexual problems, email me at sweetyji@okiedoks.com . 

Here I am after a good vacation and what the hell is this; our team has changed the name of the website. 

Questions to team okiedoks: -

a)Where are my earlier articles???????

b) What does okiedoks stand for???????

We will start directly with the questions to clear the backlog of the last month.

Question 1

 Hello Sweetyji, I am a 33 year old male who was married some time ago. Till date, I am unable to penetrate my wife as her vaginal opening seems small. She is co-operative enough, but we feel embarrassed at the scenario.  SD,

New Delhi

Dear SD,   First of all, don’t get disheartened by the act as vaginal openings might be small but are big enough to deliver babies.  Foreplay is the key.  Try watching a romantic flick while performing foreplay. Kisses, hugs, touching and licking should be a part of foreplay. Penetrate only after a foreplay of at least 30 minutes. Try KY jelly while penetration as many women find penetration psychologically painful.  Start with penetrating your finger and then your penis, when your wife is comfortable.  Consult a doctor for further consulations.

Question 2:-

Dear Sweetyji, why is it that women get attracted to bad, rough guys?ABC, Mumbai

Dear ABC, This question is out of my scope. Kindly don’t make unnecessary presumptions and contact a psychologist for a better answer. “The fact of manning a jungle lion makes a women go on her knees” 

Question 3:-

I have excellent foreplay for at least 10 minutes, but still suffer from premature ejaculation. I used to masturbate everyday since 14 – now I am 29. Is that the reason? DS:- Pune

Dear DS, Masturbation has nothing to do with your condition which is quite common. Also, foreplay should be of 30 minutes at least. Don’t think about your premature ejaculation while having sex. Remember: Sex is for pleasure and not for records. Try the stop and start method while having sex. You can penetrate for sometime and stop when you feel you might cum. Repeat this exercise which will be helpful. Have a nice time. Sex requires mental stimulation to enjoy the act.  

 Question  4:- 

 I have heard about creams and tablets which increase the size. Can you guide me?  Name withheld 

Dear Anonymous, Please don’t fall for these advertisements. Naturally and scientifically,  its  not possible to lengthen your size of your penis, instead learn tricks to enjoy the intercourse. Sex is for pleasure and not for making records. 

Question 5 :- 

I am 25 and I get a burning sensation when I masturbate and tiny droplets of blood pop out when a pee. ZA, Pune 

Dear ZA,  I have mentioned at least a million times that I don’t give medical assistance in this column. Kindly consult a good doctor immediately. Please refrain from masturbation till then.

  Love queries

 Question 1:-

Dear Sweetyji,      My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him before marriage. He loves me a lot but I am disturbed and make way for excuses. Kindly tell me how to avoid his urge.  Zainab, Ahmedabad 

 Dear Zainab,

 Its better if you avoid sex before marriage, and indulge in harmless flirting. Sex doesn’t prove a persons fidelity. Make these things clear and stay away from him, if required. Talk and explain these things in  such a way that he understands your concern. 

  Question 2:-

I am an average looking guy who loves a very beautiful girl in our college.  She doesn’t even know my existence, but I am sure that I will die if I don’t get her. Please help me.Ahmed,

Karachi, Pakistan.

 Dear Ahmed, First things first – we don’t die if we don’t succeed in love.Try being friends with her friends first and simultaneously, stay focused on your career. Girls like their men to be successful. Have faith in the word ‘love’. Don’t approach her directly, but try friendships day as an excuse and be friends with her.  Have faith in your feelings. 

 Question 3:-  

I get attracted to older women very easily. What to do? Name withheld on request 

 Dear Anonymous,

You haven’t mentioned your age and women of what age attract you.  If you get attracted to women 2-3 years older to you, its fine considering the impact a relationship has on a person - mentally and socially. Kindly limit your attraction to a maximum of 5 years. There is absolutely no harm in getting attracted to someone older than you.  

 Question 4:- 

My Dear Sweetyji, are you married? Do you have kids?Name withheld on request

  Dear Anonymous,

This is one of the most ridiculous questions that I have come across in recent times. I am happily married and the as per the contract cannot give away more details.  

  Question 5:-

Dear Sweetyji, the person I am getting married with is quite rich and handsome; still I want to ask what qualities I should check in a person when it comes to marriage. Shweta,

Lucknow.  Dear Shweta,   I admire your courage in going for quality than quantity.  Factors which girls should check are:-

a)            Check how much control his family has on his decisions and life

b)           Check the level of chauvinism in him.

c)             Check how much does he respect others and people below his hierarchy

d)           Check if he has controls over his vices

e)         Check how much are you important in his life   

 Disclaimer: -

We at okiedoks, do not give any medical prescription and request you consult a Doctor in such cases.  In the capacity of any professional medical counseling, our columns SHOULD NOT be considered as an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments. All serious queries should be handled by professional doctors, gynecologists and experts. We hold no responsibility if any complications which might happen through our advice column.  

 For all queries regarding love and sexual problems, kindly email sweetyji@okiedoks.com . Jaiho!!!  My first reaction when I heard the song, ‘Jaiho’ was an imitation of the Indian National Anthem, ‘Jai hain.’  I am sure; Gulzar might have got his inspiration by hearing the Indian National Anthem.  I have never liked the movie, Slumdog millionaire, but liked the songs. Anyways, when I heard about its Oscar journey, I was a pretty upset.  I didn’t want the movie to win any awards, as it would further celebrate the cause of Indian Slums, whose existence impairs me like anything. I prayed that it shouldn’t win any awards for the sake of my

India, but god and the Americans have different opinions. Americans like when we Asians insult ourselves.They like when Arvind Adiga writes, ‘And our nation, though it has no drinking water, electricity, sewage system, public transportation, sense of hygiene, discipline, courtesy, or punctuality, does have entrepreneurs,’ Somehow we, Indians like to make fun of ourselves by comparing anything with everything. Russell Peters and Vir Das are two jokers who take pride in insulting their own mothers. Like they say, the joke is on us. Nor do I like people who change their religion or names, so I desperately wanted Slumdog and gang to loose. Resul Pookutty gave us our 3^rd Oscar at half past 4 in the morning of the fateful day. I was online and even managed to check TV updates simultaneously. Slumdog started with a bang and the mass hysteria was taking over. By half past 5, they had managed 5 Oscars. Many online sites and channels started beaming direct telecasts, but the happiest part was seeing Indian flags waving all over. For foreigners India and Indians are 2 different things, but for us its plain simple – Jaiho is India, India is Jaiho.One of my British friends made it clear when she didn’t invite any Indians at her birthday bash inGOA. “Don’t get me wrong, I like

India but I don’t stand Indians. India is a great country, but Indians are making sure; people can take

India for granted.”When the countdown for the best music was getting closer, the anxiety in me favoured the underdog. S omehow, I wanted AR to win – I don’t know why. I can’t even explain the elation I encountered when I heard the news of his win. Rediff was the first to confirm the news, even before American websites. My happiness grew no bounds when Slumdog swept the Oscars, one by one. Tears started rolling when I sawDanny, AR, Resul, Simon and Christian accept their awards.I even wiped the dusty Indian Flag, I had in my car. Jaiho to AR, Danny and everyone associated with Slumdog….. Lastly, Danny you didn’t win because you made a brilliant film, but for

Destiny, India and Indians in particular.  

HAve fun!!!

For all queries regarding love and sexual problems, kindly email sweetyji@okiedoks.com .

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