I was witness to a lot of discussion about why the new Agneepath movie got such a monstrous opening but collected only only 24 crores in the 2^nd week.

The opening week record was mostly because of the cyber world buzz which started the moment it was confirmed that it had broken Dabangg’s opening day collection. And with such a positive cyber buzz, it is obvious that people were keen to catch the movie. So the question which still remains is why did it earn around 26 crores on the opening day itself?

Katrina’s sleazy item number, Sanjay Dutt’s classy negative shades and what not, but the real question doesn’t get answered. If you add 2 Katrinas sleazy item songs in a movie or even a bulkier Sanjay Dutt or say replace Rishi Kapoor with Amitabh Bachchan, can anyone guarantee of such a opening of 92 crore rupees? No, absolutely not.

I pondered a lot about why, why and why. And the most sensible answer to the Agneepath opening is also the most stupid one. My reasoning is – it is the same reasons why Hritik’s Guzarish flopped miserably.

No doubt, no one expected Guzarish to be a rockstar hit, but considering the trailers, the director, the songs and the starcast, the multiplex audience could have patronized it better, right? Remember, 35 % of all collections of a Bollywood movie come via the Mumbai territory where such movies can expect a decent bargain, like say, Tare Zameen Par. But it didn’t happen.

Why Agneepath’s Success wasn’t because of Katrina, Kancha Cheena, Rishi Kapoor and Company?

About Katrina’s chikni chameli song, it was good, in fact more sleazy than many of her contemporaries’ attempts, but, gone are the days when people come to a theatre to see a song. And it’s just not about Sanjay Dutt; he’s gone past his prime and he is just a character artist now, just above the Jackie Shroffs and Sunil Shettys. Rishi Kapoor is not star, his son may be. Also, it’s not about Hritik because even he would admit that he does have saleability but not like any of the Khans.

To put Hritik Roshan starrer Agneepath’s success, I have a small story to share. Long ago, when I interacted with a film critic he told me something which I would never forget – there is no formula to success which would work in all seasons.  Common guys, considering the disciplined and right directioned hardwork that Hritik puts in, he was long due for a big hit.

But why did Amitabh Bachchan’s Agneepath failed at the box office? My reasoning is simple – the movie was outdated in terms of the time of release. Released in 1990, the Mukul S. Anand movie released at the wrong time, when Amitabh  was going through a tough phase, as he was not the angry young man and nor the classy white bearded old man which he is now. Also, the Anil Kapoors, Sunny Deols and Sanjay Dutts were creeping the Bollywood space like anything. Had Bachchan’s Agneepath realeased some time in 1985, it would have become a super duper hit.

I may be wrong, I may be right…

Bollywood Wala

‘I don’t understand films, I eat them’

One thing about Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan aka Salman Khan is that irrespective of what he does, he makes for an interesting story. Like most number 9s (born on 27th December 1969), his life is governed by the notion – more the complications in your love life, more is the success.  He was a nice actor prior to ‘Hello Brother’ but I have to accept that he has seen the time of his life post that crap movie.

Hello Brother was Salman’s turning point in terms of capacity, wherein he is now like VVS Laxman. Steve Waugh said, ‘one moment VVS bats like Don Bradman and the next moment he bats like Glenn McGrath. Same way, Salman deserves respect via movies like Tere Naam and Kyunki and the very next moment he can irritate us like he did in Ready and Bodyguard. The baseline is – Salman and comedy are antonyms. Common yaar, comedy is when we laugh on the joke, and not on the man, right?

What makes Salman special is also what makes him disrespectful. He is damn unapologetic. Now, this makes him a fearsome competitor on and off the screen, but fear and respect are 2 different things. One thing I will have to agree is that the man has a very big heart, but when you are unapologetic people take your big-heartedness as self obsession (as in, say good things about me and I will give you anything). Unapologetic people are seen as arrogant as well.

He is to Bollywood what Rajnikant is to Tollywood, but both the industries define stardom differently which makes both of them quite similarly dissimilar. The Southern film industry adores superstars who don’t carry their stardom off the screen, so humble actors are more admired there, while Bollywood likes its stars to carry their stardom off the screen. Apart from Bachchan Saab, there aren’t any modest superstars. And those who were modest in Bollywood weren’t stars in the first place.

Sample this; both carry modesty and simplicity via their characters in most of their films, but Salman and Rajnikant defer a lot. While the latter carries his modesty off the screen, but the former isn’t able to. Comparing simplicity, the less said is better. One has killed some pavement dwellers via his car driving skills, killed chinkaras, troubled Aishwarya, threatened Vivek Oberoi and clashed with many co-stars while the other is as humble as one can ever get. That’s the principle reason, why Salman Khan can never fully match Rajnikanth. One more thing is common between them, both make horrible movies. Now I define a movie as Pyaasa, Nayagan, Guzarish etc. and what these 2 superstars make are nothing but a skit played to the gallery.

I personally like Salman because I feel he is one actor who have never shown his horniness(is that is a word) on and off screen and he genuinely wants to fall in love. But like many successful number 9s, of all the desired ladies in the world, he would only pick up those who wouldn’t want to marry him. Thats destiny, and I believe if Sallu manages to marry the woman he genuinely loves, his super stardom won’t last. I am talking from the spiritual point of view, so I don’t have many things to support my statement on Salman’s love life.

Post the Salman bashing, some positives about the mass hero. He genuinely respects elders and women. Man, this is one thing you cannot fake. He has supported many people when in trouble and donated a lot in charity.

What Salman should do:

1)       Make a home production and have some good directors make films for him. The phase which he is going through is similar 1993 to 1996’s Govinda where he was the hero of the movie, heroine of the movie and what not. But look what has happened to Govinda. People don’t remember actors, they remember movies and songs to some extent. Salman should remember that his timepass movies would be shown on Zee Cinema in 2018, and that generation would find it difficult to digest that movies like Bodyguard and Ready are some of the highest grosser of Bollywood. An industry is respected via what films go on to become hits.

2)      He should marry. A loyal man, married off course gets a lot of respect. And this would calm Salman in the sense that apologizing post wronging someone is greatness.

3)      He should keep his charity under the wraps. Common yaar, you don’t organize a fashion show to show that you are doing charity. The thumb rule – never get clicked during charity. Anonymous charity without cameras is the best charity.

4)      He should stop wear boot-cut trousers….that is old fashion dude. Salman is handsome and slim fits would look cool the mass entertainer.

5)      Lastly, Salman should continue coordinating with directors in choosing songs, music and picturization etc. He is doing great and a little gratefulness here and there would take him in the league of Bachchan saab.

Nothing against the actor, just an honest opinion. Chalo, I will sign off now.
Bollywood Baba
‘I don’t understand movies; I eat them.’